Memento Mori
by Rein Hellfire
Summary: Harry Potter. Boy-who-lived, Man-who-conquered, Master of Death. The fireworks for this one... It should be interesting. (Yes, I changed the title. I can do that.)
1. Chapter One: First Contact

**A/N:**

**By popular demand, I am making this idea a story. This crazy, stupid idea that's filled with so many fraggin' plotholes... It looks like swiss fucking cheese that got several dozen pounds of buckshot rammed through it. And I don't even know where I'm going to go with this now, because I've changed the plot slightly.**

**I think that's an issue.**

**... I'm going to stop whining and fucking write, because you all aren't here to hear my ramblings. Running disclaimer.**

**High School DxD is a Japanese light novel series written by Ichiei Ishibumi and illustrated by Miyama-Zero. Harry Potter is a series of seven fantasy novels written by the British author J. K. Rowling. This is a fan-based... Something. Please support the official release.**

**Warning: OOC, AU (Heavily so), mention/possible harems (Highschool DxD... It's kind of mandatory. Of course, if there is ever a harem, I'll try to keep it tasteful.) Master of Death! Harry, possible OC's, blood and guts, swearing, ranting (If loud, pompous monologues aren't your thing, turn back now), poor grammar/syntax at times, strange logic (For the author is a flaming idiot), infrequent updates, overuse of commas, extremely long warnings, as well as...**

**...Insane, illogical author. Who is a flaming turkey.**

**Hopefully that warning didn't put anybody off. Enjoy. Viewer discretion is advised.**

Rein Hellfire presents...

... Screw it. Let's get to the heart of the cards.

Fuck. Now I want to write a Yu-gi-oh fanfic... Er... Title! Now!

Memento Mori

Chapter One: First Contact

* * *

Green eyes opened suddenly, glowing like green balefires before subsiding into 'normal' human eyes. A set of images and memories was processed as the possessor of these jade eyes went about his normal start-up routine for the day.

And one Harry James Potter rose from his slumber, like the great Titans of old, like the Kraken rising from the sea-

... Okay, more like a sleepy teenager waking up after a shit-ton of homework, but who's counting here?

He ruffled his messy jet-black hair wearily as he felt his chest absently, sitting upright in his bed.

A pair of wire-framed glasses were grabbed from their place of rest on a nearby nightstand, before being slid onto the teen's visage.

"Hmm... That's really... Interesting..."

And then, as he put his right hand out onto the surface of the bed to stabilize himself as he got out of bed he felt something warm.

"... What?"

His hand involuntarily _squeezed_, causing-

"A... Ahnnn..."

A moan from the girl (Girl? What?) in his bed.

Harry's eyebrow twitched. He threw the covers off of his bed to reveal...

... Oh my.

"What." He stated flatly.

* * *

"So, let me try to make some sense out of this." Harry began as he massaged his temples irritably.

"You-" he pointed a deceptively slim finger at the crimson-haired girl who had snuck into his house. "You're a devil."

The girl nodded. "That is... Correct."

"Actually, to be more specific, you're a devil from one of the 72 pillars of the Underworld, the Gremory family," he continued, "And your name is Rias Gremory, current Head of House."

"That's right."

The tea kettle began whistling from its position on the stove. Harry perked up at its noise.

"Ah. Tea?"

"Please."

After he had gathered up two cups full of hot tea, Harry continued his monologue.

"And so, I'm a devil now. Because after that incident with the strange tit-flasher, you turned me into a devil to save my life."

Rias took a sip from her cup of tea.

"I'm a little surprised that you'd go out of your way to try to save Issei though."

"It was more like that Fallen Angel-thing decided to attack me. I was walking home when it attacked me. It just so happened that my path intersected the site of the incident."

Rias raised an eyebrow.

"So... You were just... Walking home?"

"Yup!" Harry replied cheerfully. "Just walking home, and I found two lovebirds having a quarrel. The rest, well..." He trailed off.

"... I see." Rias took another sip of her tea. "By the way, this tea is terrible."

"I know. I'm not very good at brewing tea. Or cooking anything for that matter. Er, sorry..." The black-haired boy cleared his throat. "Now, I have a question. Do you always sleep naked with a stranger?"

The crimson-haired girl blinked. "No... Not always..."

"Ah, I see."

There was a brief moment of companionable silence, before Harry chuckled.

"Is there something... Funny about this situation?"

"No, it's just that this is a little ridiculous. Here I am, talking to a devil... And we're talking about tea and sleeping habits of all things. I'm sorry, this is not how I thought this conversation would go."

"You're taking this awfully well..." Rias noted.

Harry snorted. "What, was it supposed to be strange?"

"Well, people flying, throwing spears of light and raising the dead... That's not strange?"

"Oh, you'd be surprised." Harry murmured. "You'd be surprised..."

And the conversation continued.

* * *

Harry James Potter watched that strange red-haired girl leave, and ponder over the strangeness of his situation.

Clearly, he was fated to live in interesting times.

Unfortunately for him...

He sighed.

"What do you think of all of this, Death?"

A brief pause.

"Yes, of course. You're all too morbid, aren't you... Considering you're Death, I would think that to be-"

Another pause in Harry's one-sided conversation.

"... That's not funny."

It all began at the end of the Battle of Hogwarts. That was when his troubles started.

The Hallows refused to be separated from their true master. Harry still had the cloak. The wand had refused to be left behind, and one month after Tom Marvolo Riddle's death, the stone had returned to him.

And to Harry's horror, being the master of Death was literal. He was Death's taskmaster now, his overseer... He was Deathless for Death refused to kill its master. Harry Potter could not die.

Harry Potter was the master of Death. And it was a lonely job.

He would forever remain seventeen. His body wouldn't age a day further, frozen at the age when he had ended the Dark Lord's life. However, his soul and mind were a different story.

Harry had seen the world burn in Nuclear Fire. He had seen civilizations rise and fall, had witnessed extinction events, the zombie apocalypse...

He could travel to any dimension in which Death was a unifying force. One of the perks of being the master of Death, as Death was a constant in any universe in any time, and as its Master, Harry could quite literally go anywhere anytime he wanted, so long as he had a clear destination in mind. This, at the very least, helped alleviate boredom and depression for the most part.

Now, one might imagine that Harry was depressed and suicidal after all this time. However, after so many years... He just didn't really care.

That's right. Harry Potter, the Master of Death, doesn't have a death-wish, rather... He's content to remain a bystander now. The affliction he suffers from is _boredom_. After so many years, he gave up on ever dying, and decided to just accept his condition.

Harry hummed as he poured some cereal into a bowl, and reached into the refrigerator for a pitcher of milk.

It really was quite fortunate that Harry wasn't Death itself. Rather, he could be classified as an immortal human that had somehow managed to gain control over Death through the use of ridiculously powerful magical talismans, crafted by Death itself.

If it hadn't been for that fact, Rias Gremory wouldn't have been able to turn him into a devil, as Gods and Buddhas cannot be turned into Devils.

Speaking of Rias Gremory...

The only reason he had come to this world was because he wanted a break. Some isolation, a normal reclusive life for starters, because after all the excitement that happened in the last universe...

It wasn't fun, and he had had enough excitement for a freaking lifetime. Therefore, a quiet life would probably be better, in order to wind down slightly.

Harry finished off his cereal, before putting his bowl in the sink.

Of course, Fate has to screw him over yet _again_.

* * *

Thus, Harry Potter was definitely not in a good mood, as he trudged his way through the gate of Kuoh Academy and into his classroom, where he plopped his head onto his desk with a sigh.

Not in a good mood, not at all. Because he was getting dragged into a bunch of shit _again._

_"Well, it might be interesting..."_ He muttered unconsciously, before jerking upright as a hand slammed down against his desk.

"You!" Hyoudou Issei shouted, pointing a finger at the black-haired immortal. "I've been trying to get your attention for the past minute!"

Harry blinked. Oh dear. It seems like he forgot to put up the Notice-me-not charm he's been using, and-

"You were there, right?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Harry stated firmly.

"But-"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Harry replied cheerfully.

"I-"

"Sorry, I don't know what you're talking about." Harry repeated, in that same jovial tone.

Yes, Harry Potter was in his 'denial' mode. With luck, maybe this raging pervert would back off. Maybe...

"Don't lie to me! You have to remember her! No one remembers her, but you have to, right?"

Deny. Deny. Just continue to deny, and maybe, just maybe, the pest would go away.

"Sorry, I don't-"

"Something seriously strange is going on here!"

* * *

Rias Gremory giggled a little as she watched her new pawns bicker. Well, one was bickering. The other black-haired boy was cheerfully denying any and all claims that the brown-haired pervert was making.

It was actually kind of funny. Kind of.

"Ara? Buchou, what are you doing?"

"Nothing..." Rias replied absently. "Just curious... Akeno. What do you know of our newest additions to our little group?"

"Hmm... Well, you have Hyoudou Issei. A second year student at Kuoh, completely average at everything, and a blatant pervert. Renowned for being one of the 'Perverted Trio'..." Akeno sighed. "A well-known fact is that he came to this school for the express purpose of forming his personal harem."

Cue awkward silence.

"Ahem..." Rias coughed. "Well, what about the other one?"

"Him? Harry Potter. Apparently, he's a foreigner if his name is anything to go by. Third-year student like you and I, though..." Akeno frowned. "I can't remember if he's in any of my classes. And I really don't know anything about him. All I know is that he just showed up for class about two months ago. I'm relatively certain that he's a sponsored student under the scholarship for orphans. Something else that you should know... he has no paperwork."

Rias raised an eyebrow.

"Oh? Is that so?"

"Nothing. Not even a birth certificate. Potter-san seems to be a complete anomaly. No one knows anything about him. Whereas Hyoudou-san is easy to read..."

"I see. So, on one hand we have a pervert of perverts. On the other hand, a complete mystery. Well, I can tell you one thing about him, Akeno."

"Hmm?"

"He makes horrible tea." Rias deadpanned.

The pair sat for a while, before Akeno spoke again.

"Potter-san's going to be useless in a battle. He has no Sacred Gear. No talents. No aptitude for anything, be it swords, hand-to-hand, or magic. A low-class foot soldier."

"Akeno. You're being too harsh." Rias chided gently.

"I'm sorry buchou, but I'm telling it like it is." Akeno replied. "Odds are that Potter-san is going to die very quickly and messily if it ever comes down to a battle, as much as I hate to admit it."

"Well." Rias replied primly. "We're just going to have to train him up, aren't we?"

It was then that the two noticed that the 'argument' between the two Pawns had escalated.

* * *

"It sounds like you have a problem, Hyoudou-san. Do you want to talk about your problem?" Harry asked.

"Yes!" Issei roared. "That's what I've been trying to tell you for the past hour!"

Harry pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Alright. Hyoudou-san, right?"

Issei nodded.

"Now, you have a problem with this girl who flashed you-"

"She had delicious looking boobs." Issei chimed in helpfully.

"... Okay." Harry paused and tried to comprehend just how this boy/perverse-being even... "Okay. A girl with delicious looking tits, flashed you. And then proceeded to stab you."

Issei nodded eagerly. Finally! He was getting somewhere!

"She stabbed you. And 'killed' you. And you think I was there, and know something about the crazy boob-monster that used to be your girlfriend, and can help you resolve your problem."

Issei nodded again.

"And your problem is that no one remembers your girlfriend, right?"

More head-nodding.

"Alright. You want a solution to this problem?"

"Yes!"

"And you think that I can give you an answer to your problem?"

"Yes!"

Harry cleared his throat and grabbed Issei by the shoulder, staring at him seriously through the lenses of his glasses. "Well, you came to the wrong person. Personally, I think you need to go home and lie down in order to re-evaluate your life. You're clearly cracking from... Something. Just take it easy, and make sure to avoid tall buildings until you've eliminated any and all sources of stress from your life-"

"I'm not insane!"

Harry blinked. "Okay... That's what all the crazy people say, but I digress. If you're overdosing on any medication-"

"I'm not on drugs! What kind of help is this?"

* * *

And so, two figures proceeded to exit Kuoh Academy together. Truly the best of fri-

"Are you sure you're not on drugs, Hyoudou-san?"

"Yes, I'm sure! Are you going to help me or not?"

The black-haired boy raised a placating hand.

"I don't know. That story just seems kind of unbelievable..."

"What do you mean, unbelievable! You were there-"

It was then that a spear of light proceeded to gut Issei like a pig on a spit. The pervert proceeded to flop onto the ground like so much dead meat.

Harry blinked. Then he took off his glasses, and looked up at the sky.

To sum things up, here's a shortened version of what Harry James Potter thought when he was confronted by the Fallen Angel.

_Fuck you, Murphy._

"... I think that was rather rude of you." Harry said calmly as he felt another spear of light prod his back lightly.

"Feh. You two are strays anyways. It's too bad, you know." The Fallen Angel, Donaseek stated. "Your master must have been really low-ranking if he chose this hell-hole as his territory. Besides, low-class scum like you don't deserve to be treated with respect."

Harry turned around, to see an old man in a grey frock leering at him rather... Perversely.

Inwardly, he shuddered. Just a little.

"Now, I'll just-"

It was then that two newcomers decided to make their presence known.

"Good evening, Fallen Angel-san." One Rias Gremory stated in a chilly tone. Behind her, her companion hovered near Issei, healing his stab wound with some sort of magical glow.

"I certainly have no grudge against you personally, but if you try to harm my cute little servants, I'm afraid that I may have to interfere."

The Fallen Angel opened his mouth to retort but Harry interrupted him.

"Erm... Now that that's cleared up... Could you stop poking me in the back with your... 'Thing'? It's rather hard, and... Uncomfortable."

"You insolent-"

"Harry-san, you're still untrained." Rias said soothingly. "You might be able to defeat the... Man... With some training, but right now you're not strong enough. So, you might want to stop antagonizing the Fallen Angel before he puts a spear through your back. Speaking of which..."

She gestured to the frock-clad Fallen Angel, who huffed in irritation.

"Che. Fine, take him back. He's next to useless anyways, so if you enjoy having a waste of space then that's your own problem." The old man shoved Harry to the ground. "Insolent brat. You'd best pray that we never meet again. And you, Gremory heiress. So these two belong to you? Does that mean this town is under your protection?"

Rias nodded. "Yes. That is correct."

At her stiff nod, the man sighed reluctantly "Well then. I suppose that I have to apologize for today, but next time... There are others like me who'll slay your servants without a moment's hesitation. Keep your dogs on a tighter leash... Until then, my name is Donaseek. I hope we never meet again."

And with that, he unfurled his black wings and disappeared into the night sky.

Rias sighed, crimson tresses swirling around her face as she helped her bewildered servant up.

"Honestly, you had to go and antagonize the man who held your life in your hands... You know, you could have left things to me, right?"

"Also... Was highly inappropriate allusion really necessary?"

Harry blinked.

"What? What allusion? I didn't make any sort of comparison to anything?"

"Really? 'Could you stop poking me in the back with your thing? It's hard and uncomfortable'. Does that sound familiar?"

"It was true though." The black-haired teen muttered. "His spear WAS hard, and really uncomfortable. I think I have a hole in the back of my shirt now!"

Now Rias was a little bit worried for her servant's sanity. He couldn't possibly be this oblivious. Surely not? It had to be an act, right. Right?

She watched Harry turn his head around in an attempt to search for the frayed hole in the back of his uniform, from where Donaseek had poked him with his spear.

... It's an act. Right?

**A/N:**

**... I'm so tired. I want sleep.**

**This seemed like a good place to stop. So I'm stopping here, because it's one in the morning where I am. Humans need sleep, and I'm pretty sure I'm still human. I haven't sprouted tentacles of some crap like that... Also, I just got back from a trip abroad. I want the comfort of my nice, cushy bed.**

**Ahem... Thoughts on the chapter...**

**I decided to change Harry's base personality. So now, he doesn't really give two fucks about his condition. He's kind of accepted it, reluctantly of course. And now he's _bored_, which is why he hops around the multi-verse.**

**That means that he also really doesn't give two fucks about the people around him now, but I'll get into that next chapter. The only reason he came to Kuoh was because, ironically enough, the last universe was so intense he got SICK of excitement and decided to wind down by having a normal, tedious life.**

**So, Harry's a little upset that he got dragged into this mess. Just a little.**

**Expect future updates to be about 3-4k words long, since I don't have time to write longer chapters.**

**Next chapter, Harry meets the peerage, and more shenanigans occur.**

**Updates will be... Strange, in terms of update dates. I have school, and I'm aiming for the top 5% in my school, so I'm going to be prioritizing my studies over my writing.**

**I really hope I haven't fucked up anything in this chapter. This is the fourth rewrite of the blasted thing, so... Fingers crossed on that one.**

**Speaking of chapters, if anyone wants to beta-read this story, go ahead and PM me, and open up a connections thing with me in the DocX sharing feature on this website. I'll check out your credentials later.**

**And as always, feedback is appreciated.**

**Now I'm going.**

**Rein Hellfire is signing out.**

**Update 1: Edited some stuff near the end.**


	2. Chapter Two: Dealing with Devils

**A/N:**

**I guess I have to be blatant about this.**

**Wanted: Beta-reader! Wanted: Beta-reader! Wanted: Beta-reader!**

**PM me for more details!**

**Great. That's it, right?**

**... Oh dear. The chicken is burning in the oven. Go, Disclaimer! Save my chicken! (i'm more stir-crazy than usual right now, sorry about that.)**

**High School DxD is a Japanese light novel series written by Ichiei Ishibumi and illustrated by Miyama-Zero. Harry Potter is a series of seven fantasy novels written by the British author J. K. Rowling. This is a fan-based... Something. Please support the official release.**

**Warning: OOC, AU (Heavily so), possible harems (Highschool DxD... It's kind of mandatory. Of course, if there is ever a harem, I'll try to keep it tasteful. Hell, odds are things are going to remain gen! Which is actually going to be a first, lol.), Master of Death! Harry, possible OC's, blood and guts, swearing, ranting (If loud, pompous monologues aren't your thing, turn back now), poor grammar/syntax at times, strange logic (For the author is a flaming idiot), infrequent updates, overuse of commas, extremely long warnings, as well as...**

**...Insane, illogical author. Who is a flaming turkey.**

**Hopefully that warning didn't put anybody off. Enjoy. Viewer discretion is advised.**

Chapter Two: Dealing with Devils

* * *

Harry raised an eyebrow as he spotted the blond-haired pretty-boy enter his classroom. Oh, he knew him. Yuuto Kiba, Kuoh Academy's Number One Prince. It was hard not to hear about these types of things. The female students would invariably gossip about the guys, and the males would ogle and debate over the hot girls in the school.

No, what was interesting was the fact that he was here in this classroom, because as far as the black-haired boy could tell, Kiba wasn't in any of his classes.

Well, considering that Issei was there as well, Harry could hazard a guess as to why Kiba was leading the two of them to the strange, run-down mansion-like structure that was part of the old section of the school.

Though, Issei's face... Harry glanced at him, before shuddering slightly.

That was the expression of someone who has seen eternal bliss. And it was creepy as hell...

"Oi, Hyoudou-san. Are you alright?"

Issei blinked.

"Wha-? I'm fine! Fine! Why do you ask, Potter-san?"

Harry shrugged.

"You're drooling a little. Are you sick?"

"... No... Just, something really... Really... Good..." Issei trailed off. "Boobies..."

"..." Words couldn't express Harry's thoughts at that statement.

While it is a good thing to be honest... There are some things that must never be pondered upon. Never, ever.

"This is where our clubroom is located. I hope that you'll enjoy your time with us." Kiba commented with a polite smile as he began climbing the stair case that took the group up to the second floor.

Harry raised an eyebrow. "Er, Yuuto-san?"

"Yes?"

"What exactly do you all... Do here? This seems rather opulent, don't you think?"

"Buchou will explain everything to you in the clubroom." Kiba replied breezily.

Issei muttered something under his breath, causing Harry to perk up.

"Something wrong, Hyoudou-san?"

"Oh, nothing!" Issei replied quickly, before throwing a spiteful look at Kiba's back. "Stupid bishonen..."

"Oh, you know Yuuto-san as well?"

"Who doesn't. Kiba Yuuto, Kuou Academy's Number 1 best looking Prince..."

Harry sighed. Apparently, Kiba's popularity with the ladies was something of a sore point with Issei.

"Well, you might as well get along with him, because from what I understand, we're all going to be friends soon."

"Wha- The hell? What are you saying? I don't even know you! And you called me crazy!"

Harry shook his head.

"I thought you were really stressed out, or that you decided to do drugs or something." He frowned. "I never said that you were crazy, besides, you were a little highly-strung yesterday, so forgive me for jumping to assumptions."

Issei stared at the black-haired boy incredulously while Kiba led them into another room with a small chuckle.

"I see you two are getting along back there."

"Wha- No! This guy's... He's... I don't even... How do you..."

Harry frowned.

"You okay? You're kind of freaking out. Would you like a paper bag? I think I might have one on me, let me check..."

And with that, Harry began patting his clothing down, in search of a bag.

"Funny, I thought I had one on me..."

And so, Harry continued searching for his bag. He was so engrossed in this search, he did not notice the white-haired girl in the room put down her sweets to stare at him oddly, or a shower turning off, this causing two more individuals to come out of an adjacent room and also stare at him.

"Aha! Found it!" Harry crowed triumphantly, as he handed a crumpled bag to a dumb- founded Issei. "It's a little wrinkly, but that should suffice!"

It was then that he noticed the various pairs of eyes locked onto his form.

"Er... Why are you all staring at me...?"

* * *

Issei took a sip of his tea.

"Ooh, this is good." Harry chirped up suddenly, nearly causing Issei to spill his scalding-hot tea into his lap.

It was official, this messy-haired boy with piercing green eyes hidden behind rounded glasses, was quite possibly the most insane person in the entire room. Oh, he was jovial and optimistic but...

He didn't have a single ounce of logic within his body.

"Ara ara. Thank you for the compliment, Potter-san." Akeno giggled.

"Can I get your recipe? Because, this really is good tea..."

Rias cleared her throat.

"If we are done here..." The group was situated around a round table in an opulently decorated room.

"I'll get to the point. Everyone in this room is a Devil."

Issei gulped.

"Er... Devil?"

"That's correct. We who are known as Devils have been fighting a war against the Fallen Angels since ancient times. What we have been fighting over was possession of the Underworld, also known as Hell in the human world. The Underworld is split into two areas belonging to Devils and Fallen Angels respectively."

The red-haired girl paused in order to let that fact sink into the minds of the two newest members of this 'club'.

"Devils form a pact with humans in order to receive a sacrifice and increase their strength. The Fallen Angels on the other hand control humans in order to eliminate Devils. Not to mention, the Angels destroy the other two races on God's order. So this war is split into three groups: Devils, Fallen Angels and Angels."

Issei blinked. What. War between Fallen Angels and Devils and Angels?

"Hold on... So what's this Occult Research Club for?"

"This Occult Research Club is actually, just a camouflage. In reality, it's a place where we Devils can meet without unnecessary intrusions."

Harry blinked lazily, before putting down his cup of tea. He didn't look perturbed at all.

Issei on the other hand... Well, he was a little shell-shocked.

"Hmm... You all are taking this relatively well, so far."

Harry raised a hand.

"So, hold on. Everyone here is a Devil? Is that correct?"

Rias blinked.

"Er... Yes?"

"Great." Harry grinned. "Just wondering..."

* * *

Harry watched lazily as Issei lifted his left arm.

This was... Actually, quite interesting. He watched with a sort of childish fascination as a bright light enveloped Issei's left arm and formed...

Oh ho. What is this?

"OOOOI! What the hell is this?!" He yelled.

"That's a Sacred Gear. It belongs to you. Once it appears, you can use it anywhere and anytime as you will."

Sacred Gear, huh. Harry could feel Death chuckling inside of his head.

It seems that even in this world... These kind of things exist. Would the Hallows be considered Sacred Gears, or-

The black-haired boy was pulled out of his musings when Rias spoke again."

"-magic circle is used to summon a Devil. Nowadays, there aren't many people who are capable of utilizing magic to summon us. So we give these leaflets to people who look like they want to summon a Devil for some purpose. On the day that you became my Pawn, one of our familiars was disguised as a human and was handing them out in the business district. That's where you got your leaflet, Issei. After you were attacked by the Fallen Angel, you called me while you were on the verge of death. You wished so hard that it summoned me, instead of my other servants."

"Oh hoh...?"

"When I saw you, I knew right away that you were a Sacred Gear possessor and that you were attacked by a Fallen Angel. Issei, you were dying. So I decided to save your life."

Issei blinked.

"Er, excuse me? Sempai? I don't think I was the only one there. Wasn't Potter-san also at the scene? I remember him getting stabbed as well."

"Ah yes. Harry-san..." Rias sighed. "Yes, he was also attacked by that Fallen Angel for 'interfering'. So I saved him as well."

Issei glared at Harry. "You bastard, you told me that you didn't know what I was talking about!"

Harry blinked. "I didn't know what you were talking about. What were you talking about?"

"... You cannot be serious. Really?"

"But I am serious." Harry said, in a mild tone. "I really didn't know what you were talking about. Your exact words were, 'You were there, right?' And 'You remember her, right?'. You could have been talking about that time when you and your friends got beaten up for peeping on the Kendo Club, or you could have won the lottery or made a really good test grade or something. And the 'her' could have been the Kendo club Captain, who beat you up, or the person who handed out the lottery ticket, or the teacher who gave your exam back."

"No. You're not serious. I refuse to accept this as reality. You couldn't-"

He can't be this oblivious, right?

"... But, I really didn't know what you were talking about!" Harry replied earnestly.

_Deny. Deny. Deny everything, and maybe he'll drop the issue._

No, Harry wasn't trying to troll Issei. He just wanted Issei to leave him alone.

"..." Issei stared at this infuriating teenager, and could detect nothing but honesty and good-intent.

Holy fuck, the ditzy foreigner really didn't know what he was talking about. Was this his own fault, for being too vague? Was that it?

"And then, you seemed really stressed out, and your problem was really... Unbelievable. I mean, that was probably a figment of your imagination, really. It just seemed awfully familiar to the situation that I went through, that was all. So I offered you some advice." Harry frowned. "Did I do something wrong?"

Nothing but... Earnestness...

Rias cleared her throat again, in an attempt to regain her servant's attention.

"Issei, Harry, you two were reborn as my servants."

At that moment, wings sprout from the backs of everyone around the two boys, and on the backs of the boys.

Issei blinked as he felt a strange sensation on his back, before turning to Harry who was... He was poking his own wings with a kind of twisted fascination.

... Really?

"Let's introduce everyone, shall we? Yuuto."

"My name is Kiba Yuuto. As you already know, I'm a second year like you, Hyoudou Issei-kun. Umm, I'm a Devil too. Nice to meet you."

"...First year... Toujou Koneko. Pleased to make your acquaintance. I'm a Devil too."  
The small white-haired girl bowed her head.

"My name is Himejima Akeno, and I'm a third year. I'm also the vice-president of this Occult Research Club. Nice to meet you. Even though I'm like this, I'm also a Devil. Ufufu."

Rias Gremory shook her head, causing her crimson tresses to wave slightly.

"And I'm their master as well as a Devil from the House of Gremory, Rias Gremory. My house holds the rank of a Duke. Let's get along from now on, Issei, Harry."

Harry continued poking his right wing while Issei's jaw dropped slightly.

"... That's really neat. Can I fly with these things?"

* * *

"Uoooooooooooooooooooooooooh!" Issei shouted. "Are you serious!? Me!? I'm able to make my own harem!? I-I can have sex with them as well, right!?"

Yes, Issei had just learned that he could in fact build his own harem if he rose high enough in the ranks.

Riaa blinked. "Yes. I think it's fine if it's with your servants."

"UOOOOOH! HELL YEAH! Potter-san, isn't this great! We can build a harem now!"

Harry blinked.

Truly, a perverse being beyond comprehension.

"Ehm... Er... I guess... That's a good thing?" He smiled nervously.

"Uooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh! Being a Devil rocks! Hell yeah! Now I can probably throw away the porn magazine that I was secretly hiding—"

Cue sweat-drop.

"No. Not the porno magazine. Not that. I can't throw that away. That's my treasure. I could still use that until my mum finds out about it! This and that is a different issue. Yeah. It's a different issue!"

Kiba leaned in to whisper to Harry.

"Is this guy always like this?"

Harry nodded.

"You kind of get used to it after a while. It's actually quite hilarious, seeing a guy that's this honest in this day and age."

"Fufu. This boy really is funny."

Rias laughed.

"Ara ara. It's just like you said, Buchou. He does feel like a very idiotic younger brother."

Even Akeno was laughing at Issei's statement.

"Anyway, Issei, Harry... If you're all right with being my servant... If you have potential, then you will eventually stand out and then you might be able to receive a peerage."

"Yes, Rias-senpai!"

"Sure, senpai."

"Wrong. You will have to call me 'Buchou'."

"Buchou? Can't I call you Onee-sama?" Issei asked curiously.

Rias thought about it for a while, before shaking her head.

"Hmm. Onee-sama... Well... that sounds wonderful, but since I operate mainly in the school, being called Buchou has a better ring to it. This is the Occult Research Club after all, and everyone here also calls me that..."

"Okay! Then, Buchou! Teach me how to be a Devil!"

Rias grinned.

"Fufufu, good reply. Good boy, Issei..." She grasped his chin with her fingers. "I guess... I'll have to..."

"Please teach me how to become a splendid Devil, Buchou!" Issei sputtered.

Harry blinked.

"Ah, I don't want to be outdone by my cute kohai. I guess the same goes for me." He bowed respectfully. "Please take care of me, everyone."

* * *

"I'm coming in."

Issei popped his head through the door.

The Occult Club room was dark, and the window was covered to block any and all light from entering.

The only light in the room was from the candles spread out on the floor.

"So you came."

Everyone else in the Occult Research Club was already present, including Harry.

"Sorry, am I late?" Issei asked nervously.

"No, you're just on time. Issei, Harry, please come to the center of this magic circle.

The two boys exchanged a glance before they moved to the center of the large Gremory family circle.

Rias smiled. "Well, I can safely say that your work in handing out the leaflets is done. So now... You can do the actual job of a Devil."

Harry blinked. "Ah, we can make contracts now?"

"That's correct. Though, since it's your first time, you're going to be making contracts with people who have smaller wishes. Right now, Koneko has two reservation contracts, so I thought I'd let you two handle them."

Koneko bowed her head.

"... Please help me out."

Blue and white lights began to be emitted from the circle, causing Issei to break out in a oight sweat and Harry...

... He was studying the lights intently.

"Er... Buchou..."

"Keep quiet, Issei. Akeno is currently inserting your carved seals into the circle."

Moments later...

"Alright, Issei, Harry... put out your left palms."

Rias proceeded to draw some sort of circle on said palm. When she finished, the circular symbol began glowing blue and white.

"This will allow you to transport to the client's place instantly by making you go through the teleportation-type magic-circle. And when the contract is done, it lets you return to this room."

Harry blinked.

"Ooh, that's really neat. Can you go more in depth on how it works, because that's actually really interesting."

Rias smiled indulgently,

"Maybe later, Harry. Right now, you have a contract to complete. Akeno, are you ready?"

"Yes, Buchou."

Akeno stepped out the magic-circle.

"Issei, step put of the circle. Harry, stand in the centre."

The magic circle began to glow brighter.

"The circle is responding to the client. You're going to be teleported to that location now. You know what to do after getting teleported, right?"

Harry grinned.

"Yup. Got it!"

"Good response. Now, get going!"

And with a flash of light...

Harry was gone.

"Good, good... Issei, your turn."

"Hai, Buchou!"

The brown-haired boy stepped into the circle. The same bright lights began to appear, covering his entire body, and moments later-

... He was still there, in the club room.

"... EHHHH?!"

* * *

Harry blinked as he appeared inside a strange room.

Strange because... It was filled with Magical Girl material. A lot of Magical Girl material. Outfits, posters, DVD's, the works.

"Er... Hello?" He called out nervously. "You here?"

"Welcome-nyou."

Harry turned around to find himself face-to-face with-

An enormous guy, wearing a gothic-lolita outfit. The buttons on this outfit looked like they were about to fall off, and the seams were essentially at their bursting point.

Harry swallowed nervously as he absently noted the bulging muscles that this guy (Because this was either a guy or a very, very ugly woman) possessed.

"Hi! You... Summoned me, right? This is my first contract, so... Er..." He trailed off.

Because he just noticed that this guy's eyes were glowing with some sort of strange intent.

Did I mention the cat ears?

"That's right -nyou. I called you, Devil-san, because I want to make a wish–nyou."

Harry swallowed nervously.

"Ah... And... What is your wish...?"

"I want you to make Mil-tan a Magical Girl –nyou."

**A/N:**

**I fucked something up. Don't know what I fucked up, but I fucked something up when I wrote this chapter. It could be one of any number of things, but something's... Off.**

**Anyway. Here's where I rant about the chapter. You all know the drill...**

**No, Harry isn't actually that oblivious... Well, kind of. He is a wizard and most wizards in Harry Potter don't have an ounce of common sense. Unfortunately, Harry is one of those wizards. (The worst part is, he's not even trying to troll anybody... He's just... Mad as a hatter.) Harry will in fact get more serious in later chapters though.**

**Yes, Harry is the Master of Death. He is in fact crazy powerful. No, I'm not going to underpower him at all, this is for those whiners who complain I'm nerfing the main characters. The Gremory peerage just don't know anything about the guy, because so far he hasn't exhibited any signs of being abnormal, because HE DOESN'T FUCKING NEED TO.**

**If anything, Harry's powers are going to be fucking OP as all hell. All will be revealed in due time my friend, all in due time... So be patient.**

**If I get any angry PMs or reviews along the lines of 'OMG Y DU YU NEARF HARRY I H8 YU GO DIE'... I'm going to just sit back and turn off my private messaging.**

**Yes, I messed with the contracts that Koneko received. I thought it would be more hilarious that way. Poor Harry...**

**Pairings are up in the air. I might do a gen! Fic simply for the sheer novelty. A crossover with Highschool DxD... That has no pairings. If I can pull that off...**

**... Damn, now I really want to make everything gen! Well... Issei would still have his harem, now that I think about it. Back to the drawing board, I suppose.**

**Beta-reader is wanted, so that this bad fic doesn't get worse.**

**Any and all criticism is appreciated. It helps me improve my skills as a writer.**

**I'm going now. Stay frosty.**


	3. Chapter Three: Checkmate

**A/N:**

**I never overtly state that this is to be gen. I said that I MIGHT make it gen.**

**It's not like I WANT to make this a gen fic. This is Highschool DxD after all, so not having pairings is basically criminal. It's just that... I don't see how a pairing would work for Harry. Issei? Sure. Harry... Well...**

**... If someone has a solution for that little problem, if anybody can give me a logical explanation for how any sort of pairing would work, feel free to tell me. Otherwise... It's gen all the way, at least for Harry. So, gen fic out of necessity, not because I want to make it gen.**

**And if you tell me to make it a slash-fic... That's not my cup of tea. Go read another story. Sorry, but I'm not that kind of guy...**

**I could get into a rant on how I'm not on board with pairings as well, but...**

**Disclaimer now, before one of the throngs of people that I invariably pissed off decide to take my head off. Ah, the woes of a shitty author...**

**High School DxD is a Japanese light novel series written by Ichiei Ishibumi and illustrated by Miyama-Zero. Harry Potter is a series of seven fantasy novels written by the British author J. K. Rowling. This is a fan-based... Something. Please support the official release.**

**Warning: OOC, AU (Heavily so), Still-iffy-on-pairings (It's either single, boy-girl pairings, harems, or gen at this point, and I'm leaning heavily towards gen) Master of Death! Harry, possible OC's, blood and guts, swearing, ranting (If loud, pompous monologues aren't your thing, turn back now), poor grammar/syntax at times, strange logic (For the author is a flaming idiot), infrequent updates, overuse of commas, extremely long warnings, as well as...**

**...Insane, illogical author. Who is a flaming turkey.**

**Hopefully that warning didn't put anybody off. If you actually read through that warning without flinching, well... Here's an internet cookie.**

**Enjoy. Viewer discretion is advised.**

Chapter Three: Checkmate

* * *

"UOOOOH!" Issei shouted, as he pedaled his bicycle at full throttle. The reason?

Because he couldn't travel through the magic circle, he was forced to utilize the old-fashioned method of traveling: By bike.

And that's where we find our protagonist, biking through the streets in order to find the house of his contractee, for this was... The second contract he had!

... It took him an entire night to complete his first contract, and now the bike-ride was a thirty minute drive to his second contract's apartment.

"UOO- Huh? Hey, isn't that Potter-san?"

Indeed, a very disheveled, tired-looking Harry Potter was making his way back to the school, on foot.

"I wonder what happened to him..." Issei wondered. "He seems worn out, and depressed..."

He shrugged. It really wasn't any of his business after all.

Back to pedaling.

"UOOOH!"

* * *

The door to the Occult Research slammed open.

Rias blinked.

"Oh, is Harry back?"

Instantaneously, a thumping noise emitted from the entrance as Harry fell over in a dead faint.

"Ah! What happened to you!" Rias shouted, as she ran over to Harry's crumpled form and began checking over his body.

Harry sniffled a little.

"It was so horrible..." He whispered. "I'm... I'm... I'm sorry... Buchou..."

"Shh, shh... It's okay..." Rias said consolingly. "Just... Tell me what happened."

"I... It was terrible... The sailor suits! Oh, God! The Sailor Suits!"

Harry winced.

"Ow. Now I have a migraine."

"Ah, but... Did you complete the contract?"

"Buchou... I just barely... Escaped... Twenty-four... Hours... So tired..."

Rias blinked. Ah, that was correct. This time, she made SURE to look for Harry (How did she overlook him the first time around anyways?), and couldn't find him anywhere. Naturally, she assumed that he was still completing his contract.

It looks like that assumption was correct.

"Buchou... Can... Can you do something... For me...?"

"Yes, Harry? What is it?"

"I... I left the chicken... In the oven... Before coming to the clubroom today... Can... Can you go check on it... For me?"

"Ah! Okay!"

"Thanks..."

Harry fainted.

* * *

"Oh come on! It can't have been that bad, right?"

Harry glowered at Issei.

"Right...?"

"Buchou had to send me to the hospital."

"... That bad?"

Harry nodded slowly, before slowly moving his glasses down the bridge of his nose, until he could stare directly into Issei's eyes.

"Do you see it? Do you see the pain that I had to go through?" Harry hissed. "It wasn't fun. It wasn't. Fun. Not at all. Oh god! The Sailor Suits! The anime! The horrors!"

He fell to the floor and began writing about, trying to claw his own eyes out.

"I had thought I had seen it all! Make it stop! Make it stop!"

"... How long has he been like this...?" Issei asked incredulously.

"For quite some time." Rias deadpanned as she walked into the room. "Yes, he was hospitalized, by the way. I'm seriously considering putting that specific contractee off limits."

"And to make matters worse... I didn't even complete the contract." The black-haired boy sighed in a fit of depression.

"Well, he did give you a glowing review. You conducted yourself excellently, up until the last hour... When you... Apparently snapped, and dove out of the window of a two-story building." Rias sighed. "Incidentally... I checked on your house. Harry, I'm sorry to tell you this, but..."

"The chicken got burned to a crisp, didn't it."

"Yes. You're actually quite lucky that your house didn't burn down, although your oven is also ruined."

"... I... Can... I go home now...?"

"Yes, you may."

And so it was that a very beleaguered and exhausted Harry James Potter made his way home. Rias watched him go, before turning to Issei with a brilliant smile on her face.

"So, Issei! How did your contract go?"

The brown-haired boy sweat-dropped.

"Ah...ehehe..."

* * *

"No Death, that's not funny." He hissed. "You're obviously a sadist if you think that was funny!"

He paused and sighed, before turning back to the mess of charcoal that used to be his chicken.

"Regardless..." Harry shook his head. "Enough. Are you going to tell me more about this dimension, or not?"

A brief moment of silence in this one-sided conversation.

"Fine. Be evasive then."

Another pau-

"Wha-! Are you... No!"

Harry banged his head against his table, as he continued surveying the blackened mess that used to be his 'dinner' of a day ago in an attempt to see if anything could be salvaged from the mess.

So far, he wasn't having any luck in that attempt.

"No, I do not need to lighten up. That won't help me lighten up! The worst part is, you weren't even trying to be perverted or funny! You genuinely thought that me getting some would put me in a better mood! You were serious about it, because you don't understand humor... No! It wouldn't!"

Another pause.

"How would that work anyways?" Harry asked, this time genuinely curious. "Would that be cradle-robbing, grave-digging, tomb-robbing, or necrophilia?"

"..."

"No, seriously. How would that work? What would the proper term for that be-"

Harry whipped his head around in order to scrutinize the blond-haired boy who coughed politely behind him, in an attempt to get his attention.

"Yuuto-san! How did you get here- Wait, never mind, the answer to that question is obvious. Er... Why are you here? Are you here to rob me?"

Kiba blinked. How did he come to that conclusion...?

"No, that's not it. Er... Does Buchou want something from me? Is that it?"

"Yes..."

"Alright, let's go." The black-haired boy shrugged nonchalantly.

"Er... Potter-san?"

"Hmm?"

Kiba coughed again. "Who... Who were you talking to...?"

"Oh, Death? He's my personal Reaper. Incidentally, he's also a complete pervert, and a pedophile. Don't pay attention to anything he says, he gets under your skin sometimes. Though he can get pretty serious and grim. I guess that's because he's the Grim Reaper, right?"

Kiba blinked. "... Er..."

"Don't worry, Yuuto-san, I also consider you a friend, if that's what you were worried about."

...

Yes, Kiba realized. Harry James Potter was obviously insane.

* * *

"Don't ever get close to a Church again."

Harry blinked. It seemed like Issei was being scolded by Rias for helping out a nun.

He idly noted that Rias seemed pretty... Pretty mad.

"To Devils, any Church is the territory of the enemy. Even taking one step into a Church would be an affront. Because what you did was an act of kindness, you weren't harmed, but the Angels are always on the lookout. It wouldn't have been strange for someone to hit you with a spear of Light."

Oh ho? Issei did something crazy like that? Harry glanced at the shocked boy.

... He probably did it for the breasts.

"Don't get involved with people from the Church. Especially the Exorcists. The Exorcists can easily eliminate us because their powers are supported by God's will, and it's worse if the Exorcist has a Sacred Gear."

"Y-Yes."

Harry zoned out a little bit and began whispering under his breath.

"God? So, there's actually a God?"

"..."

"Oh my. So, beings strong enough to kill God exist then?"

"... I see." Harry looked up to see that-

"You all... Want something?"

"Harry... You heard my warning, right?"

"Don't go near a church, yeah. Got it!" The black-haired boy flashed a thumbs-up at Rias.

Rias chuckled. "Good. By the by... We received an order for a hunt from the Arch Duke. There's a Stray Devil in town."

* * *

"Wow. That's fugly." Harry muttered. "Er, Buchou? I have a question..."

"Yes?"

"Are all Stray Devils that ugly? Because, that's just... It's not the worst thing ever, but still..."

A topless woman had appeared from the shadows, you see. However, the woman's body was floating.

Issei blinked. "Ugly? What the heck are you talking about! That's very clearly, not ugly at all! Those boobies... Hehe... Boobies..."

It was then that the Stray Devil revealed itself. It was a grotesque... Thing, that had the body of a gigantic beast-thing for the bottom half of its body and a woman's torso and waist for the upper portion of its body.

Issei paled.

"What...?"

"Hm. It looks kind of mangy..."

"Oi, oi! How are you remaining so calm!"

Harry blinked.

"I said that this thing was fugly. I never said it was scary... You want to see scary, I have traumatic experiences from a few nights ago I can share with you." He deadpanned.

Rias cleared her throat.

"Exiled-devil Vaizor. We are here to eliminate you"

"Ha! You sure are cunning for a little girl! I guess, I'll have to rip apart your body, and color it red, just like your hair!"

"I don't know, that seems unhygienic to me." Harry muttered. "Blood can carry all sorts of diseases, not to mention its a pain to get out of certain fabrics. Well, you're a fugly beast anyways, so a little blood here and there might actually help accentuate your more attractive features."

Cue sweatdrop.

"I wonder, would blood work as a lipstick? A nail-polish?"

The stray devil however took no notice of his words. She just began laughing, and her laughter got progressively louder and louder. The Gremory Peerage watched as Vaizor grabbed her breasts and... A magic circle formed on her nipples...

(I feel so damn bad for writing that... Dirty... Dirty...)

And... Acid spewed forth. From her nipples.

... Really...?

Harry deadpanned.

What.

Issei on the other hand... Well, he was kind of lamenting over the fact that-

"No! The breasts! How... How could they do that! No! Ruined, ruined I tell you, ruined!"

... Yeah, ignore him for now.

"Ahem... I think that this is a good time to continue from yesterday's lecture. That is to say, I'll explain more about the Evil Piece system."

Rias nodded to Kiba. "Yuuto."

"Yes!" Yuuto moved towards Vaizor with incredible speed, pulling his sword out of his sheath.

"Yuuto's position is that of the [Knight]. The main strength of a Knight is extreme speed. Those who become a [Knight] will have their speed increased."

Just like Buchou said, Kiba's speed increases, and eventually, his movements were essentially impossible to see with the naked eye.

Vaizor was definitely having a hard time trying to hit the fast blond.

"Not to mention, Yuuto's extremely proficient with a blade."

"Gah!"

Vaizor's arms flopped to the floor, trailing arcs of blood.

"That's his power. Hyper-speed combat, and professional sword skills. Koneko!"

"... Hai, Buchou."

The tiny girl moved forwards to engage the Stray Devil, tagging out with Kiba as she did so.

"O... Oi! Are you sure that's going to be fine?" Issei yelled nervously.

"It's alright. Because, Koneko is a [Rook]. And you see, the trait of a Rook is its-"

"Damn insect! Die! Die!"

The giant monster tried to stomp on the little girl with its foot. Unfortunately...

Issei's jaw dropped.

... The foot never hit the ground.

"-Absolute strength. Not to mention, a [Rook] usually has very high defense. Therefore, it's impossible for a Devil of that calibre to crush Koneko."

The white-haired girl then proceeded to throw the massive monster that was several times larger than her into the air.

"Wha-"

And then jump into the air and punch it into the ground.

Harry blinked.

"... Oh my. That's impressive."

"Akeno."

"Yes, Buchou. Ara ara, what should I do? Ufufufu..."

Harry felt a massive chill of foreboding creep across his being.

"... Something bad... Is about to happen."

"Akeno is a [Queen]. She's the one who is the strongest after me. She is the unbeatable Vice-president of our club who has all the traits of a [Pawn], [Knight], [Bishop], and [Rook].

"Gah! You damn brat!"

Akeno made her way to Vaizor's prone form, before laughing.

"Ara ara... You still have some fight in you? Well then..."

In an instant, a lightning bolt hit the Stray Devil, who got electrified violently. Smoke began to rise from its blackened form.

"Ufufufu... That isn't it, right? You can take more, right? Ufufufufufu..."

Another lightning bolt. And then another. And another.

Harry and Issei shivered as they caught a glimpse of the girl's expression. That is... She's smiling. And it seems like she's enjoying Vaizor's torture.

She's fraggin' LAUGHING for crying out loud.

The black-haired boy shook a little. "... Oh dear. So... Is she..."

"Akeno excels at attacks using demonic powers, so things like fireballs, blizzards and lightning bolts are fairly commonplace for her. But, her most important trait is that, well... she's the ultimate sadist."

Issei paled, while Harry's glasses slipped off of his face.

... Oh dear.

"Usually, she's very kind, but once a battle starts, well..."

Rias gestured to where Vaizor was being electrocuted.

"... That happens."

"... I'm scared of Akeno-san."

"You don't have to be afraid, Issei. Akeno is very kind to her comrades, and she even said that you were cute. I don't think that you're going to have a problem."  
"Ufufufufufufufu. How much of my lightning can you take? Oh, hold on, you can't die yet, okay? The one to finish you off has to be my master. I can still have fun though, so... Ufufufufu! Ohohohoho!"

Harry raised his hand timidly.

"Buchou. I'm not cute and cuddly like Issei. Er... What should I do..."

"Harry, it'll be fine. Akeno won't hurt you... She shouldn't hurt you..." Rias frowned. "You haven't angered her, so she shouldn't hurt you, right?"

Issei and Harry exchanged a look of understanding.

Yes, Devils were in fact very, very scary.

* * *

"Any last words?"

On the floor, a blackened, twisted charred mess that used to be a monster twitched. It looked like Harry's burned chicken.

"... Please, kill me..."

One blast of demonic energy from Rias later, and Vaizor's final wishes were answered.

Poor beastie.

"Er, hold on Buchou." Harry coughed into his hand. "Aren't there two pieces that you didn't mention? What about the [Pawn] and the [Bishop]?

"Ah yes. Well, those are your roles you see. A [Bishop] Bishops gain enhanced magical abilities which they can use to conjure up a multitude of spells, be it for offensive or defensive use. So essentially, strong magic users. Harry, you're my second [Bishop]."

"Awesome."

"And Issei, well... You're my [Pawn]. The traits of the [Pawn] is the ability to promote into a Queen, Rook, Knight, or Bishop when in enemy territory, or with the permission of the [King]."

Issei's face fell almost instantly.

"So, what you're saying, is that Hyoudou-san is essentially... His role is cannon fodder." Harry deadpanned.

"Well, I wouldn't put it so bluntly, but..."

"Okay." Harry turned to Issei. "So, how do you feel about that? Aren't you excited?"

"Screw you!"

"... Was it something I said...? What did I say..."

**A/N:**

**And here we have a divergence from canon. Whoo! Whoo!**

**Yes, Harry is a [Bishop]. Well, he is a crazy wizard. A spellcaster-type role would fit him to a t, if you ask me. And really, what else could he be? Rook, lol nope. Knight? Er... Can't really see it. It was either that or a Pawn and Pawns are overdone in my opinion.**

**The peerage still think that Harry doesn't have any redeemable features. For all intents and purposes, he's appeared as a regular guy, so they all think he's just a slightly insane boy who got dropped into a cruel world with no way of defending himself. That's why even though his piece is worth three Pawns, they all think that right now he's absolutely useless and needs to be trained in order to become useful.**

**And no, scythes are not overdone. Interpret that however you will.**

**Of course, this means I'm going to be going about a different route in the next few chapters, because, well... You'll just have to see.**

**This chapter has not been beta-read yet. Sorry about that, I'll send it in as soon as possible to my beta.**

**Constructive criticism is appreciated. Flames will be read, laughed at, and discarded. (No, Flames are not constructive criticism. If you actually think that... If it please your highness... Get the fuck off of my story.)**

**This is where I insert a witty statement to leave my readers with a good last impression. However, apparently I'm a bad author who should kill himself (As one douchebag eloquently pointed out in a PM), I'm not going to do that. Instead, I'll ask a question and see how many people review with an answer to said question in order to see if anybody actually reads these stupid A/N's because if they don't then I can shorten them.**

**How many people think the Naruto manga is going down the toilet, because I sure as hell do. And Bleach. Is it just me, or is Bleach also going down the crapper?**

**Now I'm gone.**


	4. Chapter Four: Pandemonium

**A/N:**

**Broken limbs suck. Kids, never break your limbs. ESPECIALLY your arm. ESPECIALLY ESPECIALLY ESPECIALLY your DOMINANT arm.**

**Do you have any idea how annoying it is to feed yourself with only ONE HAND? Yeah...**

**And the itching. God, the itching. And the aches, and pains and... No. Why am I so idiotic? Why? Why?**

**... Fucking painkillers are a bitch. I'm seeing things. The flies, man... It's those flies...**

**I had this chapter finished a long time ago, but my stupid broken arm made it so that CHECKING the damn thing took forever. FUCKING ROCKS!**

**Onto pairings. So...**

**... I regret nothing. This is the only path. I have no regrets! This was the only path...!**

**Wait, there is more than one path. The Path of No Pairing, and the Path of the Harem/Single Pairing.**

**On one hand, I'm not too fond of writing harems, and I'm terrified to death of what the implications are, because if there is a harem then writing character interactions would just SUCK. It's hard to write a GOOD harem story without having boring, two-dimensional characters, or random smut... Not to mention, if I do a Single Pairing I'm going to be engaging in a civil war (Ship-to-ship battle) with myself.**

**On the other hand... The harem must be fed.**

**Fuck it all. Fuck the fact that Highschool DxD is set in a universe where harems are perfectly applicable... ERGH! My personal beliefs now clash with my beliefs as an author!**

**You know what? I'll let the people decide. I put a poll on my profile to determine what the hell I'm going to do about this issue.**

**Let's see what happens.**

**It's not like it really matters. I'm really making this up as I go...**

**Ah, you guys want to read an actual story, don't you? Instead of hearing my lamentations... Great. Of course, I'm not allowed to whine about anything. I'm just a fucking machine that churns out stories for other people's entertainment. My feelings don't matter, right?**

**... I'm going to go sob in a corner. But first!**

**No one reads these A/N's anyway, so it doesn't matter what I put in here. If I insult (INSERT USERNAME HERE)'s mother, they probably wouldn't notice a damn thing.**

**Disclaimer!**

**High School DxD is a Japanese light novel series written by Ichiei Ishibumi and illustrated by Miyama-Zero. Harry Potter is a series of seven fantasy novels written by the British author J. K. Rowling. This is a fan-based... Something. Please support the official release.**

**Warning: OOC, AU (Heavily so), Still-iffy-on-pairings (It's either single boy-girl pairings, harems, or gen at this point, and I'm leaning heavily towards gen) Master of Death! Harry, possible OC's, blood and guts, swearing, ranting (If loud, pompous monologues aren't your thing, turn back now), poor grammar/syntax at times, strange logic (For the author is a flaming idiot), infrequent updates, overuse of commas, extremely long warnings, as well as...**

**...Insane, illogical author. Who is a flaming turkey.**

**Hopefully that warning didn't put anybody off. If you actually read through that warning without flinching, well... Here's an internet cookie.**

**Enjoy. Viewer discretion is advised.**

Chapter Four: Pandemonium

The moment the Gremory Peerage appeared in the small room, the smell of thick blood and excrement instantaneously hit their senses like a speeding truck.

Harry clenched his fists. That scent was something that was intimately familiar to him, something that he had lived with for centuries upon millennia. The scent of despair, of broken dreams and fear, and rot and horror. The scent of bloody violence.

The smell of Death.

A slight twinge of emotion was forced into the recesses of his mind. No... Now's not the time. Not now.

The mask was placed back on. Not a mask, a facet of the being known as Harry James Potter.

Nevertheless...

He idly noted that Issei was half sprawled on the floor, sweat running down his face as he tried to suppress the pain from the two sizzling holes in his thigh, while a blond-haired nun looked on, clearly horrified.

Hmm. Those wounds looked rather painful. How much would that hurt? Could you create a measurement for that kind of pain?

"Hyahou! Here's a gift for you shitty devils!"

An insane looking priest charged towards the group, raising a sword of light only for-

Clang!

-For Kiba to draw his own sword and parry the man's blow.

"I'm sorry. He's one of us! We can't let you lay a finger on him!"

"Oh, oh! A Devil, concerned for his comrade? What are you guys? Devil Squadron, the Devil Rangers? That's nice. So how is it? Are you one the sticking it in, and is he the one bending? So, are you guys in that sort of relationship?"

Harry blinked.

"Er... No. That's not the case... I don't think so, at the very least. Actually, now that I think about it... It could be unrequited love, right? They kind of have a love-hate relationship going on..."

He took up a thinking pose.

"Yeah, I can totally see that. Yeah! I don't know how onboard everyone would be with that though...Why do I feel as if I'm fulfilling some person's fantasy right now?"

Harry blinked.

"And, why are you all staring at me like that? I haven't said anything wrong, have I?"

Harry wracked his brains in an attempt to see if he said anything wrong. He didn't, he just expressed his own feelings on the matter. There's nothing wrong with that, right?

"... That guy." The exorcist muttered under his breath, shaking his head slightly. "Is completely, bat-shit crazy. Isn't he?"

"Issei-san..." The nun muttered. "Is your friend... All the way there?"

At least, Harry didn't think he said anything wrong. Surely not. That's really no cause for the priest to be telling him that he's insane, right? That's a mean thing to say!

"Just disappear." Rias muttered coldly, before firing several balls of demonic energy at the mad priest, who began ducking and weaving.

"Gahaha!"

"Akeno... Retrieve Issei, then return to our headquarters."

"Yes."

Akeno started to cast a spell.

"Harry... Go with."

"Sure."

"Ho... Hold on!" Issei stammered. "What about-"

"No!" The priest screamed. "N-bugah!"

"... Bye, Issei..." The blond-haired nun muttered.

A couch slammed into the priest's body, thrown by Koneko.

And then the three were gone.

* * *

"There are two types of Exorcists."

Harry poked a painting sullenly while listening to Rias' lecture.

"The first are Exorcists who receive the blessing from God to perform exorcism in the name of justice. This group of Exorcists borrows their power from God and Angels to eliminate Devils. And then there are Stray Exorcists."

"Like Stray Devils?" Issei asked.

"Exorcism is a holy ceremony that is performed in the name of God. However, there are Exorcists who start to enjoy the act of killing Devils. They are beings who have found killing Devils as a joy and therefore they make it their sole purpose in life. Because of this, they either get kicked out of the Church, or they're... Put down."

Issei gulped. "So... They..."

"Yes. However, some survive, and join the Fallen Angels."

"Fallen Angels are the ones with the awesome black wings, right?" Harry interjected. "Not the boring white ones?"

"... Yes..."

"Just checking."

Rias took a breath.

"... Yes. Even though the Fallen Angels are exiled from heaven, they still have the power to create spears of light, which are deadly against Devils. The Fallen Angels also lost a lot of men in the previous war. That's why they started to collect servants, to replenish their ranks."

"So because the Fallen Angels find Devils to be a nuisance, their goals coincide with goals of the Stray Exorcists..."

Harry began muttering under his breath.

"Death, I'm not crazy, right? Wait. What do you mean, I'm completely bat-shit insane?! That's not true, right! It can't be!"

He massaged his temples.

"Okay, so I'm not the craziest- What do you MEAN I'm the ONLY person you know?"

Harry blinked.

"Is there dirt on my nose or something? Why are you all staring at me?"

"Never mind that! Buchou! I need to save that girl!"

Girl? Ah, now Harry remembered. There was a nun or someone dressed in a nun's clothes in the house last night as well, wasn't there?

"Issei. How will you fight those Fallen Angels? You are a Devil and she is a servant of Fallen Angels... You cannot coexist. Saving her means making those Fallen Angels your enemies... And then, the rest of my peerage would get dragged into your mess."

Issei grew still, and looked down in a depressed funk

Yes, very depressed.

"Seriously though, do I have something on my face? Dirt? Mud? Leaves? Sem-"

* * *

And so it was that a very, very bemused Harry Potter made his way back to his house after a long day of school.

The 'meeting' of the Occult Club had very quickly devolved after Harry's oblivious statements, causing Issei to storm out of the room in a depressed funk.

Come to think of it, Harry hadn't seen Issei at all today. Not a peep from the perverted boy, not even a whisper.

He seemed to have skipped school today. Interesting.

Harry was about to open the door to his house, before he groaned as he remembered-

He had no more food. Zero. Zilch. None.

"Guess I'm eating out tonight... Ah well, I've been having a craving for pizza lately."

* * *

Of course, Issei just had to get himself into trouble again. Of course.

"Help me."

Harry glanced at the [Pawn] before taking off his glasses and rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"Help you wha-"

"I have no time for your insanity. You know who I'm talking about." Issei snarled.

"Insanity is relative, but I'll listen nevertheless."

"Good."

"...You're serious about this, aren't you..." The green-eyed boy muttered. "And what makes you think that I can do anything about it. I can't save that Sister you know, I hope you realize that."

"Then... Tell me! Tell me what to do!"

"I can't. Even if I am a [Bishop], I'm functionally useless. No special skills. No magical powers. I got nothing but a slightly enhanced body after being turned into a Devil, and even then that really only goes so far. As it stands right now, I might actually be physically weaker compared to you."

"Bu-"

"Tell me, Hyoudou Issei. Why do you want to save that girl?" Harry asked, completely seriously.

"Well..."

"Why? Tell me."

"It's because, Asia... She's my... She's..." Issei trailed off.

"She's my valuable friend. And she's... She's in danger. What kind of guy can I call myself, if I can't even save a single girl...?"

"Heh." Harry laughed. "Say no more, Hyoudou Issei. I'll help you. I don't know how, but I'll help you."

Issei's eyes lit up. "So you'll..."

"Lead the way. Hyoudou Issei-kun. Besides, this should be interesting anyways. And my television is broken, so I'm strapped for entertainment."

* * *

There was no one entering or exiting the Church. Well, except for a gathering of four figures heading towards it.

It wouldn't have been surprising to anyone if a random tumbleweed came tumbling by.

"Doo doo doooo... Doo doo DOOOO..."

Issei twitched.

"Er, Potter-san... Please stop... Er... Humming?..."

"Hmm? Humming? No no, that's not what I'm doing."

Issei snapped.

"ENOUGH! YOU'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY!"

"You sound like you need a song to cheer you up... Hmm... How about..."

"Oh crap."

"One thousand bottles of beer on the wall, one thousand bottles of beer..."

To add insult to injury, the 'song' Harry was singing was terribly off key.

* * *

"Kiba-san, just why am I sweating right now? I feel terrible..." Issei panted.

"From this presence, it's certain that there is a Fallen Angel inside."

The blond boy took out a map of the building and spread it out onto the road.

"Here we are. This is a map of that Church. You know, this stuff is basic when going into enemy territory-"

He stared incredulously at Harry.

"... Are you taking notes?"

Indeed, Harry was taking notes on what Kiba was doing, with a pen and notepad.

"Don't mind me, just continue on..."

Issei face-palmed, while Koneko looked on apathetically.

It was probably a terrible, terrible idea to take the legally insane guy along for the ride.

"I... I... See...?" Kiba smiled nervously.

* * *

What a creepy Church.

"This is... A really creepy Church." Issei muttered.

Indeed, it was creepy. Dark, and-

The sound of clapping echoed throughout this chamber, and a figure popped his head out from behind a pillar.

Ah, it's-

"Ah! A meeting! A reunion! How emotional!"

The insane priest laughed.

"Well, I've never met the same Devil twice before! You know, since I'm super strong, I cut Devils into pieces the first time I meet them! Once I see them, I cut them up on the spot! Then I-"

A loud cracking noise echoed throughout the entire chamber from Harry's position.

"-What the fuck was that?"

The trio of devils-

Hold on, trio?

"Bugah!? Where's-!"

"Potter-san? Where did he-!"

"...Disappeared..."

"...Who the fuck cares! Here I come! Shitty Devils!" The priest drew his sword and gun.

"That insane bastard! Where the hell is he?"

* * *

In the basement of the abandoned Church, a sort of ceremony was going on. At the far side of the passage was a Fallen Angel, quite devilishly beautiful. However, she was dressed in a... Revealing outfit.

Attached to a cross was a young, blond-haired nun. She was quite obviously in pain. Interspersed throughout the room was a large group of Exorcists, all wielding swords of light.

"Almost done..." The Fallen Angel whispered. "It's almost done..."

A loud cracking noise came into being, startling the occupants of this basement.

"What-"

"Oi, oi. Death. This is the place you showed me, yeah?"

A young boy of about seventeen opened the door and ambled his way into the room casually.

The Fallen Angel narrowed her eyes at the black-haired figure.

"You! Didn't I kill you already?"

The boy blinked. Blinked again.

"Hmm. I guess you did. Fancy that." He replied. "See, I have a problem right now. That girl happens to be a friend of an acquaintance of mine. So I was thinking... You could let her go?"

The Fallen Angel blinked. And then laughed.

"Keke... HAHAHA! You're delusional! You obviously have a death-wish! Hehe... Well, then you shitty Devil... I'll just have to grant you that death you seek! Exorcists! Kill him!"

Harry James Potter sighed.

"I take it you all will resort to fisticuffs then? Can't we talk this out?"

"What are you on to make you think like that? Just hurry up and die already!"

The black-haired boy smiled mirthlessly.

"I think you misunderstood something. I wasn't asking... Diffindo."

And with a jerk of his hand, which held a sort of stick-

Stick?

The blond girl's bonds were broken, and then-

"Accio."

She was lying on the ground, next to Harry. The Fallen Angel's eyes boggled.

"You! What the fuck!"

"Sorry about this." Harry murmured. "Stupefy. Obliviate."

A red burst of light. Asia fell unconscious.

"Now then. My objective has been completed. You have two choices available to you now. Surrender, or die like a dog. So, Fallen Angel Raynare. What will it be?"

"Fuck you! Why haven't you lot killed him yet!"

Harry removed his glasses, green eyes glowing eerily, as if they were glowing balefires from the very pits of Hell itself.

"Option two it is. Death? If you would...?" A shadow extended from behind Harry's back and-

* * *

_And the scene turned to black. Pitch black. Void. Emptiness. Nothing. Death. Zero. Oblivion._

_Cold, black. Emptiness, nothingness. No warmth, no compassion, no remorse. Cold, unfeeling black. Freezing, fear-inducing black of the abyss._

_Unnatural quiet._

_Deathdeathdeathdeathdeathdeathdeathdeathdeathdeath deathdeath. Splattering noises. Slicing. Cutting. Screams._

_A final tortured scream pleading mercy._

_"Mercy! Please! I beg of you!"_

_A cold retort._

_"Mercy. What is that again? Death. End her."_

* * *

The other three Devils that had come along on the mission to rescue Asia Argento stood before the door to the basement of the Church.

"That's it then?" Issei asked.

Kiba smiled. "Possibly. Most likely, there's going to be large groups of Exorcists and Fallen Angels inside. You guys ready?"

"Yeah!"

"... Smells strange..." Koneko muttered. "But that person should be in there..."

The door was opened, and the trio of devils found...

... Asia Argento and Harry James Potter sitting on the cold floor, talking about food?

"Burgers are good, but I prefer pizza."

"Pizza? What's pizza?"

"... You're kidding. You've never had pizza before... Oh, hi guys!"

Harry waved gaily at the group standing in the doorway.

"I was just talking to Asia here! It's been really, very nice!"

Kiba's mouth opened for a second, before falling slack once again.

"I... You..."

Issei looked around, searching for Exorcists or Fallen Angels, or just something else.

"What..."

Koneko blinked her golden eyes.

"... What happened?"

"Nothing happened, Koneko! What, were you expecting something to happen? Nothing of importance took place here!"

**A/N:**

**... Harry is bipolar. Or split personality? Who knows, he is essentially insane.**

**No fight scene, because these small fries aren't important enough to rate a fight scene. You'll get your blood and gore and OPness in the next few chapters though, don't worry.**

**Incidentally, what would a good Character Song be for Harry? Just wondering...**

**Fucking broken arm. ****I'm just going to go ahead and post this chapter, and then lie down in order to begin angsting. But before that... Previews!**

* * *

**Preview! Preview!**

_"Removing all stopgaps. Erasing all limiters."_

_Harry grinned then. A soulless, merciless, carnivorous grin. The grin of a madman, of someone that was just pure..._

_Pure EVIL... No._

_"Release restrictions to level Two."_

_Those horrible burning green eyes began glowing with greater intensity as a shroud of shadow erupted from Harry's back._

_"Riser Phenex. Remember this day. The day that you die."_

_The darkness spread, enveloping more and more of the ground-_

_"Death. Come forward."_

_... No. He wasn't evil. He was beyond evil. He was void. He was nothing. He was..._

_"Bring them all to me."_

_... The one who conquered the thing that could not be conquered._

_**"As yOu cOmmAND, MY lORd."**_

* * *

_"Is this satisfactory? Young master?"_


	5. Chapter Five: Black Dog (Part One)

**A/N:**

**Apparently, harems are a thing now. Who knew?**

**And apparently, you all are impatient.**

**I'll just say this, right here and right now. DO NOT give me a review or PM me about 'updating faster'. I'm sorry, but I've been SWAMPED with PMs asking me to update faster. I'm pissed. I have a broken arm. I wrote half of the next two chapters before I broke my arm, but now I have to proofread, and it is a bitch.**

**You break your arm and try writing 3500 word chapters in a timely fashion, while keeping up with your coursework. Go ahead. Do it.**

**I'm turning off my private messaging, and then I'm going to lie down.**

**High School DxD is a Japanese light novel series written by Ichiei Ishibumi and illustrated by Miyama-Zero. Harry Potter is a series of seven fantasy novels written by the British author J. K. Rowling. This is a fan-based... Something. Please support the official release.**

**Warning: OOC, AU (Heavily so), Still-iffy-on-pairings (It's either single boy-girl pairings, harems, or gen at this point, and I'm leaning heavily towards gen) Master of Death! Harry, possible OC's, blood and guts, swearing, ranting (If loud, pompous monologues aren't your thing, turn back now), poor grammar/syntax at times, strange logic (For the author is a flaming idiot), infrequent updates, overuse of commas, extremely long warnings, as well as...**

**...Insane, illogical author. Who is a flaming turkey.**

**Hopefully that warning didn't put anybody off. If you actually read through that warning without flinching, well... Here's an internet cookie.**

**Enjoy. Viewer discretion is advised.**

Chapter Five: Black Dog (Part One)

* * *

"How long has it been, Death? How long since I arrived in this world?" Harry mused, as he sat at the table in his house and sipped a cup of tea. "Two weeks? One? Three? A month? God forbid, a year?"

He smiled mirthlessly. "Does it really matter at this point? We both know that time, well... Time holds no meaning to me."

He took a sip of the tea, before grimacing.

"No. That's not an option. Besides, I've lived behind a mask for most of my life. This isn't even a mask, after all. I'm insane, right?"

He paused.

"I think that this is horrible tea... Everything tastes the same now..."

Pause. Sigh.

"They really are... Innocent, aren't they?" Harry mused. "So young. So unburdened. Free, free of all obligations. Such bright souls my Master associates with... It's almost as if they are bonfires compared to the candles of regular men and women."

Harry chuckled, green eyes twinkling almost like a certain old headmaster's eyes would have oh so long ago.

"Yes. That's right. I was never normal. Not then, not now. Especially not now. Heh. Anyway, this is all quite entertaining. I suppose... What are you saying, Death? This is part of who I am, after all. I've never faked anything in all the time that I was here, in this universe. I'm insane, remember?"

"Well. Sanity is relative."

Harry raised an eyebrow.

"I suppose... That's quite true."

He took another sip of the tea.

"This is truly terrible tea. It's nothing but ashes in my mouth."

Then again, that was how everything tasted nowadays, even if Harry lied to himself, and to those around him.

Ashes and dust. Quite disgusting.

* * *

"O... Ppai... Oppa... I... Oppai... Oppai.."

Harry glanced over at Issei. "Are you done yet?"

"Fuck you, you shitty bastard! How are you still running?"

Harry blinked.

"Oh. We're running?"

"Hey, don't run so miserably. Or else I will add 10 more laps of dashing afterwards."

Rias called out from where she was riding a bicycle behind the running pair.

"Wait... This is running? I thought it was slow jogging. Hmm, fancy that."

"You... What kind of body do you have. Are you serious?"

"No. That was my godfather."

Issei blinked.

"What?"

"It was a joke. Sirius, serious? You know?" Harry muttered. "It's called humor, Hyoudou Issei-san."

"What the hell?!"

"I am renowned as a funny person in certain circles. I'm a veritable stand-up act. Or is it stand-down act? How would that work?"

Issei just... Froze up.

"Wha... What the hell?"

* * *

"Issei-san, here's your tea."

"Y-Yeah, thanks."

Issei sipped his tea, wincing all the while.

As it turns out, Asia had somehow become associated with the Gremory peerage. Rias' reasoning was that the girl was a 'Potential asset that might be useful to us in the future'. And so...

"Asia, why are you here?"

Asia blushed.

"I heard that Issei-san, Harry-san and Buchou-san are doing training here every morning…so I also wanted to be of help to Ise-san as well. Though I was only able to prepare tea today."

Issei's mood instantly soured.

"Ah... Harry-san... Well..."

"What's so bad about Harry-san? He seems like a nice guy..."

* * *

_Flashback!_

"Alright Issei, Harry. I want to see where you guys are at in terms of power, so..."

Rias smiled.

"Fight!"

Issei blinked. "Ah... I'll try, but... That guy is..."

"He's sleeping..."

Cue sweatdrop.

"Issei."

"Hai, Buchou?"

"... Why is he... Asleep?"

"I... Don't know. How is he standing... And sleeping...?"

Foolish devils. It's useless to attempt to understand Harry's insanity. Surely you know that by now, I mean, seriously! It's breaking the fourth wall for crying out-!

"... Anyways! Wake him up..."

"Hai! Buchou!"

Issei moved towards Harry-

"ALRIGHT! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WA- BUGAH!"

- Who proceeded to punch the brown-haired boy right in the schnoz.

"Ah! Issei!"

"Auuuuu... Dab... Dab hurbs... My nodb..."

Harry yawned.

"Hmmhmhm... Hmm? Is there... Something wrong?"

_End flashback!_

* * *

Issei blinked back tears.

"... And that's what happened today..."

"Ah! Issei- san! Is your nose..."

"It's fine now, but..." The tears poured out of Issei's eyes. "That really hurt...

* * *

"Kiba, just what is your opinion on our new companions?" Rias asked, as the rest of the Gremory Peerage (besides Harry, Issei, and Asia) sat in the Occult Research clubroom.

Kiba coughed. "To sum it up? Issei is a very honest guy, but has slightly... Lecherous desires..."

"... Pervert..." Koneko muttered.

"And Asia is... Kind. Compassionate."

"... Nice..."

"Whereas Harry? Well..." Kiba trailed off.

"Mystery..."

"That's right. He's a mystery. An enigma." Kiba muttered. "We know nothing about him, and I couldn't find anything on him. All I know is that he showed up two months ago, nearly got killed by a Fallen Angel, goes to this academy, and... Well, that he's insane. That's it. I don't know anything else about him."

Rias nodded slowly. "Akeno? What are your thoughts?"

The sadist frowned. "Essentially, what Kiba said. Harry James Potter is an unknown."

"True. He's quite calm and collected for a normal student. Not to mention... He hasn't divulged any information about himself, hasn't he? True, he shows up to meetings and he follows orders, but... He's very... Private, hmm?"

"Maybe he's just in shock from the recent events?"

"Maybe... I don't know, I keep getting this niggling feeling that this guy is more than meets the eye..."

"He's a nice guy though, you have to admit. Although, he is rather... Quirky."

Rias snorted.

"Quirky is an understatement, though now I wonder..."

* * *

And so it came to pass that a very, very sleepy Harry James Potter opened the door to his bedroom and plopped his weary body onto the bed.

He looked completely pooped.

And then he blinked.

"What the f-"

A magic circle glowed on the floor of the bedroom. The-

"Is that the Gremory family magic circle thing? What..."

Harry groaned. It was too early in the night for this shit.

The circle lit up the whole room, and a person appeared from it. The silhouette of a girl. A girl with crimson hair...

"Buchou? Wha... What? Why are you here? It's..." Harry checked his watch. "... I can't even tell. It's... Some time. Wha..."

"Harry. I need to ask for a... favor from you."

Harry blinked.

"... What?"

"Make love to me."

"... What."

"I want you to take my virginity. Immediately."

Harry began nodding slowly. He got out of his bed, and placed his hands on Rias' shoulders, all the while continuing to nod slowly. And then...

"Go away. I'm sleepy. And it's too early in the night for this kind of stuff."

... He shoved her out of the bedroom door. And proceeded to slam the door.

Rias blinked in confusion. Once. Twice. Then...

"... Oi! What are you-"

"Trying to go to sleep. Goodnight."

"Wha-!"

"Rias Gremory. You're obviously panicking, it's evident in your behavior, so take a moment to calm yourself before you do something that you'll regret."

"..."

"Calm down. Then we talk."

Silence. One minute ticked by. Two minutes. Three.

"Are you calm?"

"... Yes..."

Harry opened the door. The bemused expression that graced his face was gone now, and instead...

"You're not as insane as you'd like us all to believe, aren't you." Rias muttered.

"Sanity is relative." Harry stated bluntly. "I shall be quick about this, because I genuinely want to be left to my own devices right now. Why did you come here? To seduce me? To use me? Why?"

"Well... That is..."

"It is not as if you are unattractive, but I'm really not in the mood for this shit right now." Harry sighed. "I am not Issei, Buchou. I am not him, therefore flaunting or attempting to flaunt your skin will not sway me to do your bidding, or to fulfill whatever agenda you have

"..."

"You're distraught. You're upset. I suggest that you return home and reconsider your decisions, because right now you're not acting logically. So calm down. And think. Things. Through. Before you act."

"You... You don't understand! I-"

"Oh, I do understand, Rias Gremory. More than you know." Harry muttered. "This is why I do not follow you. You... You did not tell me why you are doing this. You still are not telling me why you are doing this. I am not Issei. I will not run away at the very last minute. If you are going to be pulling something like this, at least make sure that the feelings are genuine. Otherwise, you're just leading me on and using me. And I hate being used."

"You're my [Bishop]-"

"And you know nothing about me, so your point is invalid." Harry countered smoothly. "That is true, you know absolutely nothing about me, like I intended. It is because, you haven't proven it to me yet."

"Prove... Prove what?"

"That you are a person worth following. Prove that you are, Rias Gremory. Prove that you are worthy of my loyalty, and I shall reveal my deepest secrets and devote my entire being to you. Until you do so though, I will not follow you. I will obey orders. I will go along with whatever activities your peerage is going through, but I will not follow you. I will not divulge information to you. Therefore, Rias Gremory, there's really only one course of action available to you."

Harry leaned closer to the crimson haired girl, and whispered into her ear, softly and insidiously.

"_If you want my loyalty, my servitude, my gratitude, my faith, my allegiance... Then... __**Impress me**_."

Harry pulled away.

"This exchange is over. I wish to be left to my own devices now. I request that you leave."

The door closed.

* * *

"She truly is young, Death." Harry mused as he laid on his bed. "I had almost forgotten... How young she is. How young they all are."

A pause.

"Yes. They really are young, aren't they? And I, well... Here I am, dredging up old ghosts. When did I stop caring, Death?"

Another pause. Harry laughed.

"Yes, that's right. I never could stop caring. Over a billion years, and I haven't stopped caring... I'm not human now. Death. I'm not human. Are you upset at me because of that fact?"

Harry sighed.

"I suppose that's correct. I never could be human, and maybe I never was human. I certainly wasn't human before this entire debacle, though this is less exciting than the last universe I was in. That's a good thing though. It gives me more time to remember."

Harry rolled over.

"We'll see where this goes, but quite frankly, this is all very amusing. Although some actual quiet would have been nice, this is still very, very amusing."

He smirked.

"Maybe I am insane. Who knows? I don't even know anymore. I just know that everything's hilarious, and that's that."

A break in the one-sided conversation.

"Death. If she proves to be worthy, I want you to restore everything. No more one-time things, restore everything. After all, if I am to have a master, I cannot be debilitated and senile, can't I?"

* * *

Harry smiled beatifically.

"Good morning everyone!" He waved happily. "And just, what sort of fun things are we going to be doing today?"

Cue sweatdrop.

"Ah... I see. So, it's going to be... Who are we waiting on." Harry replied, completely seriously.

Issei gawked.

"Hold on!? What's with that serious manner? Wha... NOW you choose to act sane?"

"Issei. You know... Sanity is relative. And for all you all know, I could be acting seriously to make you think I'm not crazy, when in fact, I'm crazy, or acting crazy when I'm actually not crazy. Or acting seriously to make you think I'm not crazy, when in fact I'm crazy, but that craziness is a delusion brought about by craziness which cancels out, making me not crazy. It might even be the other way around."

"Wha..."

"Of course, I'm not crazy to begin with, so your point is invalid. Then again, that's what all crazy people say."

Issei blinked. Then blinked again.

"That aside, it seems as if something important is going to be happening soon, so you might want to listen."

Issei noted the grim mood that seemed to pervade the room wasn't limited to Harry alone, and a confused Asia edged even closer to him for protection. Kiba had stopped smiling,and was staring out the window with a... Was he scowling?

On the other side of the room, Rias sat on the couch instead of her usual place at the desk with Akeno beside her, only this time there was another woman; a silver haired exquisite beauty who stood on her other side with an unconcerned expression, seemingly waiting for something to happen.

That something of course, happened before Issei could ask who she was. With a loud buzz, the air was filled with thick magic. On the ground, a deep orange magic circle, the color of flames flowed across the floor, expanding until it covered the entire room. In the middle of the circle was a proud crest that he was not familiar with.

"That's not the Gremory crest is it?"

"…Phoenix." Koneko uttered softly with something approaching scorn, "House of Phoenix."

Harry raised an eyebrow before...

Hold on, why is he smiling like that?

A fire surged from the orange circle, and silhouetted figures appeared in the middle of this inferno.

When the flames had died down, a man stood in the magic circle. A man and... Was that a harem?

"Ah... the smell of the human world that I haven't been to in such a long time." This man was blond, wearing a haughty arrogant smirk. His shirt was unbuttoned at the top, giving him a handsome, wild presence.

Basically, he was a... Roguish Kiba...? No, no... That's not it.

"My lovely Rias... I've come to see you, my fiancée."

Issei gawked at this statement, before turning to look at Harry, who almost seemed...

What kind of smile was that? A sort of half grin, as if something was funny about this entire situation.

All around the good looking blond, beautiful girls and women lined up, numbering fifteen, each of them had the confident smirk that seemed to be plastered to the blond man's face.

Obviously, this was the man's Peerage. Eight [Pawns], two [Bishops], two [Knights], two [Rooks] and one [Queen].

And of course there was the [King] himself.

"I never agreed to be your fiancée."

"Oi, oi, are you sure you can afford to say something like that? Our families have already promised us to each other you know. Without a husband, the House of Gremory would be crushed under a thousand opportunistic Devils... And, it would be a pity if one of the houses that survived the war disappeared... Wouldn't it?" The blond man said, in a cajoling manner.

"I will not accept this, and I will not crush my house either. I will take a husband." Rias declared firmly.

Seeing his confusion, Kiba leaned closer to Issei and began to explain.

"This person is Riser Phenex-sama. He's a pure-blooded High-class Devil, and the third son of the House of Phenex. He appears to have a marriage contract with Buchou, but it seems to have been made without Buchou's agreement..."

The blonde, sophisticated looking man who was lounging on the couch opposite of the fiery heir of the Gremory house only smirked.

"Well... That's good Rias! You are finally coming around. Let's-"

"I said, I will take a husband. I did not say it would be you." Rias interrupted coldly.

Riser grimaced. "...You know Rias... I didn't even want to come to a small old building like this in the human world. Actually I don't even like the human world. The fire and wind in this world is filthy. For a devil like me who symbolizes fire and wind, I can't stand it!"

Brightwhite flames surged out from under him, causing the small room to become almost unbearably hot, and for the air to become stifling warm, the type of warm associated with fire. A suffocating, hostile air. "I will take you back to the underworld, even if I have to burn all of your servants."

The atmosphere was intense.

Harry raised a eyebrow, before turning to Rias.

"Ah... So, this is the reason..."

Rias nodded.

"Ah, Buchou. I owe you an apology. It appears as if I... Didn't read into the situation enough. I sympathize with you now... For you to marry this guy... I'm sorry for my reaction, but I won't retract my statements. Is that fair?"

Issei gawked at what Harry said.

"Oi! What the-"

"And just what is so terrible about her marrying me?" Riser exclaimed furiously.

"To put it quite simply, you're a pathetic waste of a man. No, you're not even a man. More like a mangy, grilled chicken. All hot air."

"You dare!" Riser roared. "You! You... What do you think a lowly person such as yourself can do?"

Harry sniffed, before grimacing in disgust.

"Hmph. You even smell like a cheap fried chicken."

"You dog! Mongrel! Wastrel! I'll kill you! Just who the hell do you think you are-"

"Enough." The silver-haired woman sitting on the couch thundered. "Riser-sama, Harry-san, calm yourself. If you continue, then... I shall have to take more... Drastic measures."

"... I understand..." Riser bit out angrily. "To be told that by the 'Ultimate Queen', well, even I would be scared... I definitely wouldn't want to fight the people from Sirzech-sama's group."

"Riser-sama..." One of the girls accompanying the blond whined. "Are you really just going to accept this?"

"There, there." He smiled suavely. "It's alright... Here..."

Riser began to tongue kiss the girl who had spoke, moving his palms to caress her visible skin and groping her breasts greedily.

"Ha...Ahhh..."

"Hau..." Beside Issei, Asia's face had gotten extremely red.

Harry glanced meaningfully at Rias.

"Fried. Chicken."

Riser separated from the busty mage, leaving lewd threads of saliva connecting their lips. He then started to tongue kiss another girl, but his eyes were clearly taunting the Gremory peerage, goading them...

"That's enough." Grayfia spoke. With a hard look that warned Riser to stop taunting Rias and her Pieces, she continued.

"Ojou-sama, if a compromise cannot be reached, I would suggest that we decide this by having a 'Rating game' between yourself and Riser-sama."

Rias gaped at her.

"Just like Ojou-sama already knows, a 'Rating game' can only be played by mature devils. But if it's an unofficial match, then even pure-blooded devils who haven't reached maturity can participate. In this case, however..."

"It usually involves the family and household problems, right?"

Rias interrupted with an angry huff, "In other words Otou-sama and the others chose to make us play the Game? ... What nerve they have... Trying to control my life...!"

"Then Ojou-sama, you are saying you would also decline to participate in the game?"

"No. This is a chance." Rias said after a small pause, "Alright then. Let's decide this by the game, Riser."

Riser smirked.

"Hee, you're accepting it? I don't mind. But I'm already a mature devil, and I have already participated in the official game. Right now I have won most of the games I participated in. Even so, you still want to play, Rias?"

Rias smirked.

"I will. I will make you disappear, Riser!"

"Fine. If you win, do whatever you like. But if I win, you will marry me immediately."

Both of them glared at each other.

"Understood. I, Grayfia, have confirmed both sides opinion. I will the referee of the game between these two sides. Will that be acceptable?"

"Yes."

"Yeah."

"The main houses involved shall be informed." Grayfia bowed her head politely.

And so it began.

**A/N:**

**Actual battle to occur in part two.**

**Part two should be posted within the next one-two weeks. Refer to my warning and the note on my profile.**

**If you tell me to update faster, I'll beat you to death with the cast on my arm. That is all.**

**Preview, because I can.**

* * *

**Preview! Preview! Preview!**

_"You... What the fuck are you?"_

_Harry **grinned**._

_"Hmm... Didn't you call me a dog...? Well, I guess that's what I am. I'm a mongrel, right? Nothing but a dog, eh?"_

* * *

_"And if I do this..." Harry vanished in a blur of shadows and reappeared behind Riser's 'Bomb Queen'._

_"... I can touch. Your. Heart." He whispered seductively into the purple-haired girl's ear, black locks of hair tickling the nape of her neck. _

_Blood proceeded to splatter on the ground, gouts of the crimson liquid splashing every which way as Harry forced his arm into-_

_"Do you feel it? Do you feel Death grasping your heart?" Harry continued whispering, almost inaudibly. "I squeeze. I release. I squeeze. I release. I squeeze, I **PULL**!"_

_The black-haired boy wrenched his hand out of Yubelluna's chest cavity, clutching a beating, thumping-_

**_[Riser Phenex-sama's Queen retires]_**


End file.
